“I like ice cream with my cake. But in moderation, and not like five gallons with a cupcake. For that much ice cream, I’d need at least two cupcakes.”

“If I could lick the sunset, I’ll bet it would taste like Neapolitan ice cream.”

“She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream.”

“My love is a flower shaped like a snowflake. It won’t melt, so perhaps ice cream should be made out of it.”

“Did I hear that right? Did someone say ice cream? It’s an odd thing to say in the middle of a eulogy, but hell yes, I could go for some ice cream. We could take a break, because it’s not like this guy won’t still be dead in a half an hour.”

“On second thought, maybe “Penis on a Stick Ice Cream Parlor” is not such a good name for a business—even an ice cream shop—but especially not a day care center catering towards the albino dwarf community.”

“A cake for all is not a celebration of one. Cupcakes are the ultimate birthday cake.”