“I like movies that keep me guessing until the end. I always guess flowers, because no matter what type of movie, whether romance, mystery, or horror, nobody suspects the flowers.”

“People always say I have hands as large as the Roman Empire. I guess it just goes with the territory. Romance, it’s all in the gloves.”

“She loves me. She must, because she left flowers in the fridge from her date. She knows how I love flower salad.”

“I like wearing a blindfold while watching movies, so that I can focus on the dialogue. My favorite flicks are the silent movies.”

“I am but a flower. Do with me what thou wilt.”

“I want to end my life by eating so much Viagra that I go out like that movie and Die Hard. If you want to watch, I just made popcorn.”

“I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have cried so hard, because with all my sobbing, I ended up waking it up.”