“I like the name Lola, because it has LOL in the beginning.”

“I feel like someone who has a parade named in their honor, and doesn’t get invited.”

“He had a last name for a first name, and a last name for a last name, but only because it came after his first name (the one that sounds like a last name). Otherwise, his last name would sound like a first name.”

“Her name was Janice, but I called her Jan because she was born in December—just like Chris T.
”

“I wonder if Seal got his name because it looks like his face was mauled by a Great White shark?”

“His last name was Morris, but I called him Mars, because it’s like he was from another planet, like Venus. He was a cross dresser.”

“I have pride in my name, because I have pride in myself. I do not represent my name—my name represents me.”