“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick.”

“It’s like an inner struggle for me, between saying I don’t give a shit and trying to make it work. You want to do the right thing, but I’m sick of people thinking I’m difficult.”

“You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well?It'd go like this: You'd get the boss on the line and say, "Listen, I've been sick ever since I started working here, but today I'm well and I won't be in anymore." Call in well.”

“Don’t go tarring me with that brush! I’m nothing like him. I never cheat and I never lie. The woman I end up with would be my princess. I’d treat herlike damn royalty and worship the ground she walks on. I’d tell her every day how much I love her and every night how much she means to me. Sodon’t you ever tell me I’m like all the rest Amy. I’m not!”

“If the world were coming to an end tomorrow, I’d probably call in sick to work.”

“If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.”