“I like watching people stretch in the park. It's my new favorite pastime since I bought a portable rack.”

“My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it.”

“I bought you a box of karate chops, but it could be dangerous to open it with a knife. And cats are masters at getting into boxes, so here, try opening it with my portable meow maker.
”

“I like wearing a blindfold while watching movies, so that I can focus on the dialogue. My favorite flicks are the silent movies.”

“Some people collect stamps, while I collect letters. My favorite ones are the rare ones, like Q and X.”

“I like watching other people watching other people.”

“I've been able to sleep with my eyes open ever since I started watching baseball.”