“I like wearing a blindfold while watching movies, so that I can focus on the dialogue. My favorite flicks are the silent movies.”

“I watch silent movies on mute. But only for the dialogue.”

“I want to end my life by eating so much Viagra that I go out like that movie and Die Hard. If you want to watch, I just made popcorn.”

“Most people wear mind blindfolds. I think that’s stupid. I wear blindfolds over my eyes.”

“I want to direct a movie called “Sleep” that’s sure to put everybody to the title. The whole movie will look like an extended blink. That way, if anybody asks if you’ve seen it, and you say No, you fell asleep halfway through, the other person can say, So you have seen the whole thing.”

“I like movies that keep me guessing until the end. I always guess flowers, because no matter what type of movie, whether romance, mystery, or horror, nobody suspects the flowers.”

“I like watching people stretch in the park. It's my new favorite pastime since I bought a portable rack.”