“I like wearing earmuffs. They keep my balls warm.”

“Love is like a banana, and I keep it in my pocket on cold days to warm up my hand.”

“Love is tender, like the pot roast I’m keeping warm in my shoes.”

“I sure wish deodorant tasted like butter, because then I could keep mashed potatoes warm and tasty in my armpits all day long.”

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a cat guy. Every night as I go to sleep, I have this particular fantasy I indulge in. Most men dream about naked women, but not me. I dream about being isolated in a mountainous forest in the middle of winter, and all I have to stay warm is a single blanket and a cat. In my mind I curl up like a ball with Cap’n tucked in close as we keep each other warm despite the fierce winds raging like a bull around us. Then, after about five minutes of this, we are rescued by a helicopter full of nude models.”

“I like to hike in state parks, but one thing I can’t stand is pants. So I don’t wear any. My wallet is tube shaped. Can you guess where I keep it?”

“Love is like a blanket: it will keep you warm, but it might also suffocate you. Also, it's probably covered with cat hair—love, I mean.”