“I looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s like looking in a mirror when you make eye contact with your clone.”

“Do I look like someone you know? Well you don’t know me, so why don’t you go bother my clone? And if you do see my clone, tell him I should have made an omelet out of him when I had the chance.”

“If you ask me to describe what I look like, I’ll simply say, “I look like my clone.”

“During conversation, I have no problem making eye contact—with myself in the mirror. Or with my clone, if he’s not rolling his eyes because he knows what I’m going to say.”

“Even when we’re old, I’ll still look at you with the same eyes. (Who else’s eyes am I going to look at you with?) My love for you is Louis Braillesque.”

“If it looks like you have pink eye, I’ll take a look at it. Drop your pants and bend over.”

“I like eye contact, but please don’t blink when my eyeballs are touching yours.”