“I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Buick. Not because I’m a romantic, but because my grandpa and grandma were in the front seats.”

“I don’t mind waiting rooms. I’m waiting on the love of my life, so I may as well have a seat, right?”

“I think I just inhaled a cloud shaped like the ghost of my grandpa, and all I have to say is grandma smelled better.”

“I always wear my seat belt when I drive a point home.”

“Grandpa always used to make me ride in the bed of his pickup truck, so he could keep up his conversations with the 100-pound sack of manure he kept buckled up in the passenger seat. Grandpa said all they ever talked about was grass, but I know Grandpa used to do a little flirting, too.”

“I want to hold my grandpa in my arms and pet him while I fall asleep. That’s why I’m learning to play the guitar.”

“Somebody took my bicycle tire, my bicycle seat, and both my pedals. They stole my whole unicycle!”