“I love pan pizza. I love pans. I love Peter Pan. I love Peter, but not as much as I love Paul. As you can see, I have a lot of love—and between now and Christmas it’s all at a 33.3% reduced price.”

“I am a love factory. I make love out of high quality plastics at an affordable price.”

“Love isn’t a series of slogans like “Just do it,” “It’s the real thing,” or “Go ahead, stick it in my butt.” Love is much more than that. Love is also a logo. I know, because I have it tattooed on my ass.”

“I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold?”

“If love tasted like pork, and you were allergic to Francis Bacon, could I be your Shakespeare? We could make love on a pizza and make much ado about nothing, everything, anything, something.”

“I never stopped loving you. I never did. I never loved you, not: I never did stop loving you.”

“I often wonder how far I’d go for love. I guess it all depends on the price of gas.
”