“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.”

“I’m running a marathon. I won’t be jogging, walking, or sprinting, but I will be overseeing it.”

“I am the orangutan of love. OK, who am I kidding? I’m merely the love monkey.”

“I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy.”

“I’d run 26.2 miles to eat a Marathon candy bar.”

“I am a juxtaposition. And at the same time, I’m not. I’m always like this because I’m not always like this because I’m always in love.”

“I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot and buried decades ago.”