“I love the smell of cleanliness. That’s what the inside of my nostrils smell like, naturally.”

“If I had nostrils on my index fingers, I wonder what the inside of my nose would smell like?”

“My nostrils smell, but not to you. Oh, they have no odor, unless you count the scent of nostalgia, which is what they always smell like.”

“I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather, to have that "new car smell" all the time.”

“Sometimes I still get the urge to stuff asparagus up my nostrils, even though I don't like the way it makes my pee smell.”

“What can I say about love that’s never been said by me or anyone else? Well, sometimes love smells like my farts, after I eat a dozen roses.”

“I hate the smell of success, because most of the time it smells like sweat. Maybe that’s why I’m poor, because every pore on my body is dry.”