“I made a joke today, and I made it out of pennies. It was a very poor joke.”

“It’s not a joke if it’s not entirely clear. But most jokes play off of ambiguity and sudden juxtaposition, so a joke has to be clearly unclear.”

“I made out like a bandit. Not that I’ve ever made out with a bandit.”

“I was joking about my clones to my family when my uncle Herman said, “Don’t do that. Don’t make fun of yourself and others at the same time.” And he’s right. It is confusing. Am I mocking myself, or joking at the expense of someone else?”

“Some people use laughter as a weapon. It's all very funny until someone loses an eye. But then I guess it just makes the joke even funnier, because you never see it coming.”

“If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—tell different people.”

“I don’t use coarse humor, but occasionally I’ll joke about intercourse—between midget siblings.”