“I made her late, so she made me dinner. And by late I mean pregnant. And by dinner I mean marry her.”

“If a clock represented a pie chart, then I just ate a slice of apple pie so large it represents 33 minutes. That means I’m three minutes late for dinner!”

“I invited my girlfriend over and made her dinner. I didn’t cook, but I did eat her.”

“I made plans for 8:00. When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, “That’s funny, because my sperm was absent.”

“I never wanted to be the one to break her heart, to disappoint her, to be late for dinner or to hog the bed. I never wanted to be the person to make her cry, or turn out to be a huge let-down. She meant to much to me for any of that. While I believed I could love her better than anyone in the world, I didn't really trust myself to be... Well, good enough.”

“Tea, late dinners and the French Revolution. I cannot exactly see the connection of ideas.”