“I make love like an albino sings—softly, and from sunset to sunrise (except in Alaska).”

“I am the sunrise of sunsets, and I make love like noon at midnight.”

“There’s nothing I like better than a beautiful sunset. Except maybe a gorgeous sunrise. And a naked woman painted pink and orange floating through the sky.”

“I am not adventurous, though I can manage to look at and enjoy sunsets. However, sunrises scare me.”

“I love like an albino. But I don’t want to get sunburned, so would you please pass the ketchup?”

“I make love like I sing—in a choir, alone in the bathtub.”

“I’m a Colorado boy at heart, even though my surrounding body is like the landmass containing the encircling 47 states. But I love like Hawaii and Alaska—hot and cold and from a distance.”