“I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level.”

“I make love like I make lasagna: with extra meat.”

“If I get on the elevator on the ground floor, the building has no basement, and someone says, Going up? I like to give them that blank road kill dead in the eyes look.”

“I made love to a woman on a boat once. It was still on the showroom floor, but the way I rocked it made it feel like the ocean. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“If you don’t know what love feels like, you’re in luck, because I just finished making a new pair of Love Gloves. They’re lined with fur and are perfect for a cold February 14th winter day. I’ll let you borrow them sometime, maybe even this summer. I recommend wearing them in conjunction with my Sensitivity Pants, which are so tight they show the emotion betrayed by your crotch.”

“I dance so fluid that I often drink the floor.”

“I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor. 
”