“I need either a small coffee or a large nap.”

“I could either buy one missile, or 88,000 cups of coffee. Both would wake me up, but the coffee would also wake up North Korea. I’ll go with the coffee.
”

“I’d rather play with small quantities of large people than large quantities of small people.”

“If you need me I’ll be napping in the supplies closet. The most important part of an attack is the planning.”

“I only need to write about 3,000 one-liners a day to produce a million jokes a year. Simple. I’ll just get started after I take a nap.”

“When I go house hunting, I use a rather large gun. You should see me fish for the best tasting Starbucks coffee. Oh, and can I borrow your plunger?”

“At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically me asking for a small large in a medium cup.
”