“I need to dig a hole the size of the Grand Canyon to bury all of my problems.”

“The best way to dig yourself out of a hole, is with a dead guy’s fingernails. Then, once you’re out of the hole, finish burying that dead guy before the cops arrive.”

“Like the Grand Canyon, I care deeply. Hop on a donkey and you’ll see how deeply I love you!”

“I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot and buried decades ago.”

“Politicians think the only way out of a hole is to keep digging.”

“I don’t shower because water is the most corrosive element. Ever seen what it does to rock? I want a chiseled body, but I don’t want it to look like the Grand Canyon.”

“Would women find vampires even sexier and more romantic if instead of fangs they had rose thorns? It’s thoughts like these I think of when digging in my garden, looking for my one true love (If only I could remember where I buried her!).
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