“I notice your absence. I notice your non presence and reflect on the time you were present, in the present, which is obviously in the past.”

“I notice when you’re gone. With you not being there I notice your unbeing, with you still being a being in time but not my space.”

“The lights might have dimmed, but I blinked at that moment so I didn’t notice. I also didn’t notice her love, probably because she never showed or told me.”

“A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 
”

“I thought she was sexy until I noticed she had a beard.”

“I got you a birthday present. The box is the exact same size as a coffin.”

“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”