“I often feel like a camel in the mountains, and a goat in the desert. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I made love to a woman on a boat once. It was still on the showroom floor, but the way I rocked it made it feel like the ocean. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“If frogs tasted like chicken, I’d gladly jump in the frying pan. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I still remember her meandering Mississippi kiss. I sipped it like a riverboat captain in the desert. Ah, to be young and naughtily nautical.”

“I don’t sleep on the left side of the bed, or the right side, because there is a third option: to not sleep. After all, sleep is like death. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“She tried to steal the desert. She’s guilty. Look no farther than her camel toe.”