“I once had a professor who could condense an entire lecture into a can of frozen orange juice. Talk about hard to concentrate.”

“I invented underwear with only one leg hole, for people who like to concentrate on frozen orange juice while bungee jumping from a tampon string.”

“Once the orange juice wears off, I might be drunk. I love vodka.”

“When all the trees are dead, I’ll be there, drinking freshly squeezed orange juice.”

“Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate).
 It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient.”

“I was part of a focus group once, but to be honest, I couldn’t concentrate.”

“It’s hard to hear over the racket of gunfire. Politicians want to talk about war, but the people want to talk about peace.”