“I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bits. It was the best sex I’ve ever served to an unsuspecting customer.”

“I made out like a bandit. Not that I’ve ever made out with a bandit.”

“Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup.”

“I love conducting double blind experiments with unsuspecting peeping Toms.”

“I saw a mummy in a movie once, and I’ve got to say I love George Harrison’s style.”

“The best date I’ve ever been on was March 5th, 1982, the year I was born. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget that date.
”

“Empty packets of hot sauce remind me of the love I used to have for her. Now all I’m left with is this yummy taco.”