“I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.
”

“I make love like I sing—in a choir, alone in the bathtub.”

“I put the “sing” in single. But only when I’m in the shower.”

“I want a shower the size of the Sydney Opera House, because you know damn well I sing in the shower. And I might as well make millions off my cleanliness.”

“I don’t think anybody’s ever written a song called, “There’s urine on the couch, and the remote control is in the shower.” I would write it myself, but I’ve never been very good at writing love ballads.”

“I put the choir in kissing. Too bad there’s no sing in fornicating. But that doesn’t stop me from hiring a hummer.”

“Every time the wind blows I think of her. I wonder if I could generate electricity off my yearning. Maybe a mind wind farm of some kind. Hopefully I could provide enough power for all the lonely people in my bathtub to stay warm.”