“I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor some direction.”

“Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee, or directly into your soul?
”

“My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee, though I prefer it melted and hot enough to burn flesh.”

“My TV’s remote control didn’t have a source of energy, so I poured coffee in it. Now I can read any book I want.”

“The zipper on my crotch is an air vent. I need some way to cool down my hot coffee.”

“I want instant coffee at the snap of my fingers that gives me more energy than that generated by a million snaps.”

“A car is a couch with wheels. My windshield wipers don’t work, so I’ve decided to stop watering my living room carpet. Honk if you want coffee, and I’ll pour you an umbrellaful.”