“I put the “cat” in category. And not only do I put it there, but I pet it too.”

“I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.
”

“I put the penis in happiness. I put it there, and I can pull it out too. (But why would I? That’s why I’m wearing a condom.)
”

“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“Love reminds me of when I was six and had a pet goldfish named “Silverbird” that I carried around the house, petting it like a cat. Needless to say it died. So I ate it.”

“If my chest grew cat hair, I wouldn’t know whether to pluck it or pet it.”

“I put the men in mental. Well, me and my clones do. Alone I just put in the man.”