“I put the “Dan” in Danger. I’m sorry, Dan.”

“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was nonexistent.”

“I'm the kind of guy who puts other people first. Particularly if there’s danger up ahead. Now I’m not saying I’m any more cowardly than the next man, unless that next man is any other man besides my clone.”

“I murdered all my staff. I’m terribly sorry. I thought they were someone else (my wife).”

“I put the “sing” in single. But only when I’m in the shower.”

“I am greedy with water. I made your apology tea dry. I’m sorry. You might try snorting it out of the bag.”

“I put the penis in happiness. I put it there, and I can pull it out too. (But why would I? That’s why I’m wearing a condom.)
”