“I put the “sing” in single. But only when I’m in the shower.”

“I make music like I make love—in a group. OK, so I’m not in a band, and I sing alone in the shower.”

“I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.
”

“I want a shower the size of the Sydney Opera House, because you know damn well I sing in the shower. And I might as well make millions off my cleanliness.”

“I have extremely great aim when it comes to peeing. I can, for instance, manage to not splash a single drop on the rim of the toilet, even when standing five feet away and from behind the shower curtain.”

“When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women lust after me and mail me their panties? (Mail to: Jarod Kintz/12358 Fibonacci Way/Jacksonville, Fl 32258)
”

“I put the “Dan” in Danger. I’m sorry, Dan.”