“I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never made love again, and I don’t regret it for a second.”

“We made love for 8 seconds. She rode me like a bull.”

“We made love like three seasons, but I didn’t fall.”

“We made love like Tuesday at noon, even though it was Thursday at 3:00, and then again at 3:03. (I have the stamina of a water lily).”

“We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf.”

“You made me dinner, so I made myself vomit—twice. Once to clear some room in my full stomach so I could eat, and the second time as an expression of what I thought about your cooking.”

“I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle.”