“I saw a baby make a boom-boom in his diaper, and I thought, I’d never have suspected him of being a terrorist.”

“I didn’t set out to discover Truth. I was simply hungry and digging deep in the back of the fridge and boom! there it was. And I’ve got to tell you, the Truth was tasty. 
”

“I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd—an animal walking an animal.” Then I thought, “If given the choice, I’d rather vote for the dog.”

“My love may be invisible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t taste it. (It tastes like a sonic boom, only not as bitter).”

“When I saw a murder taking place, I almost didn’t have time to make coffee before stopping it. But thank God I did, because otherwise somebody would have died—and even worse, I’d be tired.”

“I always thought I’d make a great backup singer. I don’t practice. It’s just pure talent.”

“I worked with a sketch artist, but I was driving fast when I saw the suspect, so the drawing came out blurry.”