“I saw something scary. It was a boy, asking me what I’m doing naked in his father’s fridge. Dinner party’s over.”

“When someone is talking about their job, and they turn to me and ask me what I do, I stare off into space, let my eyes glaze over, and wistfully say, “I often wonder what I’m doing.”

“I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet.”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m living in my father’s shadow. But then he takes a few steps, or bends down to stretch his back, and I get to enjoy the sunlight for a few moments.”

“When someone asks, Dogs or cats? I usually say, For what, dinner?”

“I keep the ketchup in the fridge, though from now on I’m going to keep in the bottle. Less messy, I figure.”

“I’m asking you not to do it. Can you do that for me? Can you do not doing it?
”