“I say yes, turn the other cheek, and let me slap your butt again. Forgiveness can be oh so naughty.”

“I clench your love in my butt cheeks, along with all my hard-earned cash.”

“When I hear your name, I involuntarily clench my butt cheeks. Is that love? I don’t know—I’m not Nicholas Sparks.
”

“I’m on the road, Butte is 58 miles away, and I’m driving 85 mph. So I should be there in an hour. Oh, if only love were so easy to calculate.”

“Maybe is forgettable. Only yes and no are memorable. Be bold with your love and say yes to yes and no to no.”

“When someone is talking about their job, and they turn to me and ask me what I do, I stare off into space, let my eyes glaze over, and wistfully say, “I often wonder what I’m doing.”

“When bananas blush, they turn brown, not red. And when tomatoes blush, you’ve probably said something really naughty.”