“I serve the people. Am I a politician? No, I’m just a greedy and corrupt waiter.”

“I think I’m greedy, but I’m not greedy for money – I think that can be a burden – I’m greedy for an exciting life. I want it to be exciting all the time, and I get it, actually. On the other hand, I can find excitement, I admit, in raindrops falling on a puddle and a lot of people wouldn’t. I intend to have it exciting until the day I fall over.”

“I am not a fan of people who abuse service staff. In fact, I find it intolerable. It’s an unpardonable sin as far as I’m concerned, taking out personal business or some other kind of dissatisfaction on a waiter or busboy.”

“Your dressed as a waiter and I am dressed as a doctor so we are just as we live.”

“I am greedy with water. I made your apology tea dry. I’m sorry. You might try snorting it out of the bag.”

“Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people.”