“I speak the language of love. That’s right, I speak Russian.”

“I love body language, because I can speak it without talking, without listening, and while my back is turned.”

“I’m bilingual, speaking English and body language. I prefer the latter, because I can speak it silently and without listening and while my back is turned.”

“To most people, if you’re muttering, you might as well be speaking a foreign language. I should know, because in college I took two years of muttering.”

“Learn body language so you can not only speak it, but misspeak it too.”

“What does it matter if you can speak two or more languages if you have nothing original to say in any language?”

“Flatulence is the international language. Speak it with your anus. Hear it through your ears. Listen through your nose.”