“I stand six feet back when meeting new people. And before they can step to me and extend their arm for a handshake, I drop down like I’m doing pushups, and extend my right hand. It’s friendly, but it lets them know I’m into boundaries. And unless they’re a cartographer, they have to be made aware of this fact.”

“Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory.”

“Pa extended his paw as if to say, “I’m here, and I’m human.” What else could I do but say, “Meow.”

“When people change, I’m disappointed they’re not who I remember them being. And when people don’t change, I’m disappointed they still are who they were. All people do is disappoint, and I do mean all people.”

“Call me paranoid, but the shape the human hand makes when extending out for a handshake looks suspiciously like a karate chop. Maybe diplomacy, especially in DC, could use a little kung fu mixed in.”

“I’m standing in misunderstanding. I must have just stepped in it.”

“The closer I get, the faster I have to go. Otherwise, I might be late to the very place where I’m not even expected. Adding to my tardiness is the fact that I don’t even know where I’m going. And I can’t get from here to there when I don’t even know where I am, let alone where I’m going. All I know is I’m going fast, but not fast enough.”