“I stood in the doorway pondering the difference between naked and nude, and the pizza delivery guy probably wondered if I was going to go put on some clothes and pay him.”

“I asked him, "Do you know the difference between nude and naked?"He shook his head. "Nude is artistic. Naked is defenseless.”

“My name is Mortimer Alexander and I am a licensed summoner.""Darn. I'd hoped you were the pizza delivery guy.”

“On top of all that, you're naked. And while I'm going to hate myself for this later, could you put on some clothes? At least just for a little while, so I can think. Then you can go right back to being naked. All the time. With my full blessing.”

“I would answer the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing my birthday suit, but it had cake all over it so I sent it to be dry cleaned.”

“Probably some period thing. I go completely mental too. Period fever. It's the worst."This effectively killed all conversation for a while...."Fixed that," she said."You told him I had period fever," I replied. "There's no such thing as period fever.""No such thing as ghosts either.""No, there is really no such thing as period fever. There's a difference between being a guy and being an idiot.”