“I stood in the doorway pondering the difference between naked and nude, and the pizza delivery guy probably wondered if I was going to go put on some clothes and pay him.”

“I would answer the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing my birthday suit, but it had cake all over it so I sent it to be dry cleaned.”

“I wish success could be ordered like delivery pizza, because I’d order take out.”

“Right now I’m naked, like how my pizza comes out of the oven. I like my toppings like I like my women: topless. I love me some pepperoni.”

“I tried to knock my wife up, but she’d only let me ring the doorbell. And she made me dress up like the pizza delivery boy while I rang.”

“My time at the pool went swimmingly. Better than a nude beach, because I was the only one who was naked.”

“I am the go-to guy for to-go boxes.”