“I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty.”

“Forever [is] so many different things. It is always changing... it is twenty minutes, or a hundred years, or just this instant, or any instant I wish would last and last”

“Last night I walked clear down to Times Square & just as I arrived I suddenly realized I was a ghost - it was my ghost walking on the sidewalk.”

“The last introvert in a world of extroverts. Silence: my response to both emptiness and saturation. But silence frightens people. I had to learn how to talk. Out of politeness.”

“My reputation precedes me. It shows up about fifteen minutes before I do, eats, and then leaves without paying or tipping.”

“I drove 30 miles to buy some breath mints before I realized I had some already in my pocket. Then it took me another 30 minutes to figure out they weren’t breath mints at all—they were aspirins.”