“I think a cool war helmet is painted with red and white concentric circles, exactly like a bull’s eye. But I’m not a fighter—I’m a lover. That’s why I’m joining the military. I figure after well over a decade of continuous war, all they do is fuck around.”

“I’m a big cat lover, so I thought it’d be cool to join the Black Panther party. But can you believe it, those fucking honkies wouldn’t let me in.”

“Dream dialogue: 
-Don’t cry. I, too, know what it’s like to be different.
-But I’m not different. I’m normal, I’m average, and that’s why I’m crying.”

“I want a white car that turns red when I’m embarrassed.”

“I don’t know when I’m going to stop when I start—or start when I stop. That’s why I simply love continuously.”

“I’m in disguise. I’m disguised as myself, and I’m a master of disguise, so that’s why you couldn’t tell I was in disguise. Not even my clone could tell.”

“I’m looking for a girlfriend. That’s why I brought binoculars.”