“I think a great book title would be “Ida Says ‘I do’ in Idaho.” It would be about a divorce in Washington State, and the protagonist would be a woman, though I’m not sure what her name should be.”

“On my list of things to be when I grew up was a character in a Gary Larson comic. With one of his books in my hands, I would spend hours and hours laughing. And then I’d finally stop laughing long enough to actually open the book. I’m not sure what the younger me would think about me if he could see me now. To be honest, I’m not sure he’d be terribly impressed. He’d probably put his hands on his hips and hump his dismay.”

“William Penn would be a great pen name. But for love letters to manicured lawns, trees, and benches, the best name would be Nicholas Parks.”

“There’s truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I’d hold it up and say, “Sorry I’m late.”

“I’m 6’3”, but you would think I was Napoleon’s height because I’m slouched over with poor posture, and I have a lust for conquering Europe.”

“10% ago I was 90% unsure of what I didn’t want to do. Now I’m just 33.3% sure that I’m 66.6% unsure. And I can say this with .1% certainty.”

“I think all toys should be invisible. Not only would they improve children’s imaginations, but they’d also be really affordable. In fact, every toy would be free.”