“I think coffee is the best drink known to man. I also think that wine is the best drink known to woman.”

“You drink wine by the glass, and I drink wine by the trashcan. Seriously, I’ll be by the trashcan if you need me.”

“I drink sleep, but not like I drink coffee. I chug one and sip the other.”

“Whenever I see a gorgeous woman, I think, Who is that tall drink of water, and how come I’m suddenly thirsty?”

“Your fork is my shovel. I eat real estate and I drink coffee.”

“I drink hot coffee in the summer, and iced coffee in the winter. I’m a contrarian, and contrary to popular belief I'm not a sellout. I rent.”

“I’ll bet Ryan Lilly drinks coffee like a flower—a lily. I drink coffee more like two roses and a nose walk into a bar. I would tell you what the bartender said, but to be honest, the bar was pretty noisy and I didn’t hear what he said.”