“I think it would be funny to dye somebody’s pool red and then throw dead fish in it. And before you run out of there, you could leave a stone tablet with these words etched in: God is angry with you and has decided to go all Egypt on you.”
“It was funny how you could go somewhere and your whole life could stretch out and then you could come home and have it all shrink back to the way it was before. It was funny that it didn’t stay stretched.”
“Never throw stones if you think they're going to come back and hit you.”
“God would not bring you through a Red Sea and turn around and allow you to perish in a fish pond.”
“Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead, or pretending to be dead.”
“This is your one and only precious life. Somebody’s going to decide how it’s going to be lived and that person had better be you.”