“I think it’s OK to rape as many people as possible, and that’s precisely why I’m going into politics.”

“And that’s why I can’t go out with you. I’m not going to become a number you can’t identify. It’s not what I’m looking for.”

“The favorite game of temperamental people is Try to Guess Why I’m Ticked Off. (Contestant number one, Why do YOU think he’s pissed off? Why, I’m not sure, Bob, but I’m going to go with ‘Because I Left the Faucet Dripping.’ BEEP. I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. The correct answer is: ‘Because You Happen to Exist.’)”

“Is it OK not to be a virgin, yes. Most people aren’t virgins, Min. That’s why there’s people to begin with.”

“I’m running late. But that’s OK, because I’m wearing Nikes.”

“Why not? Why not anything? If God ain’t a God of why nots, than I say ‘Why bother,’ and I don’t think that’s takin his name in vain, I think it’s tellin the truth about what people need.”