“I think the perfect pen name is Quill McSeagull. Especially for writing flights of fancy—and nothing has more feathers than a love poem.”

“You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen.”

“You might think there is nothing more patriotic than dying for your country, but I think there is nothing more patriotic than living for your country.”

“It’s sad when people want to wear out a perfectly good last name when they don’t have any other pants. Idea for a pen name: Johnny Nudity.”

“William Penn would be a great pen name. But for love letters to manicured lawns, trees, and benches, the best name would be Nicholas Parks.”

“Feathers blowing in the wind is no more a bird than a pile of crumpled up receipts from champagne, chocolate, and flower purchases is a true indication that a man loves a woman.
”

“I could write from anywhere, including the moon, provided I had a pencil and not a pen.”