“I think we should change the amount of time in each day. Sunday thru Friday should be reduced from 24 hours down to ten minutes, and Saturday would become a 167-hour day. That way, when people ask me what I did all week I could truthfully respond, "I slept all week. But I got a hell of a lot done on Saturday.”

“There are days when I don’t know how I live with myself. Those days are Sundays through Saturdays.”

“When anybody asks me what time it is, I always say, “Yesterday, plus 24 hours.”

“The only equality that exists on earth is time. We all have exactly 24 hours in a day. How we choose to spend those hours is what separates us.”

“Every morning I think: What’s the latest I can sleep in ‘til, and still be on time for work? Well, I used to think that, before unemployment turned every day into a Saturday.”

“Trying to learn body language in a week is like trying to master Polish in 20 hours. And come on, Polish would take at least 24 hours to conquer.”

“What are you doing Saturday or Sunday? I’m free this weekend. But come Monday I go back to being a slave.”