“I threw out my sausage, and replaced it with a healthier penis metaphor, like a cucumber.”
“I enjoy the small things in life. Like my penis.”
“I’m a magician. I can make food appear—and out of my penis, no less.”
“My penis burns. I guess I should stop trying to put out forest fires with it.”
“Writing is like pulling teeth out of your penis.”
“I have a problem. I wouldn’t say I’m in a pickle. More like a vinegarized cucumber.”