“I told you I didn’t want to go. Of course, I really did want to go, but I just said I didn’t want to go so you’d beg me to go and I could feel needed. I’m needy like that.”

“I didn’t want to go, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be invited.”

“I didn’t go to the water park because it was raining, and I didn’t want to get wet.”

“He was just a kid. He didn’t care. He was like, “I’m getting in my mom’s van and I’m going home.” I was just a kid, too. But I cared. With him gone, who was I going to play Plato and Socrates with?
”

“I want to go to the Olympics. But I don’t want to train, so who’s going to buy me a ticket? I also don’t want to ride on a train, so airfare should be included.”

“I want to end my life by eating so much Viagra that I go out like that movie and Die Hard. If you want to watch, I just made popcorn.”

“She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up.”