“I took a shower under a fountain drink machine at a gas station because it beats showering with unleaded gasoline at $3.33 a gallon and rising.”

“I told the waitress I wanted some coffee. She asked if I wanted leaded of unleaded, so I had to leave the restaurant, because I quit drinking gasoline years ago.”

“I want a shower the size of the Sydney Opera House, because you know damn well I sing in the shower. And I might as well make millions off my cleanliness.”

“I wanted to make love in the rain, but owing to unfavorable (or, rather favorable) weather conditions, I took to the shower as a suitable substitute.”

“A fuel pump is a fountain drink machine for cars. And people who want to save the environment and get drunk and run to work.”

“I went to Bath and Body Works this morning, because I really needed a shower. Hygiene is important to society, I have discovered.”

“I put the “sing” in single. But only when I’m in the shower.”