“I treat women like royalty. But not from a Bolshevik perspective.”

“Your face influences your life, because it effects how people treat you. Sometimes you don’t have to be king to be treated like royalty—you only have to look like the king.”

“Your deodorant smells like my armpit. And yet I get no royalty from the manufacturer.”

“Men are from vaginas, and women are from women.”

“I like my spaghetti like I like my women. All over my shirt.”

“If I ever get a 20-dollar bill, I like to convert it into 20 singles, because women like guys with lots of money.
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“I don’t beat around the bush. Especially since I like my women clean shaven.”