“I try not to sell myself short, unless I’m giving myself a great price on the stuff.”

“Writing is hard, but I don’t want to kill myself trying to write. Not unless I’m writing a suicide note.”

“I’m a master of encouragement. Why should I do work myself when the price of getting others to do it for me is as cheap as cheering them on?”

“Life isn’t so bad. I’m not fat (unless you’re Gandhi), I’m not short (unless you’re Goliath), and I’m not ugly (unless you’re James Dean).”

“Leadership. I separate myself from the pack at such a great distance that it may be said that I’m a leader—a leader of one with followers of none.”

“I can take care of myself, but I can’t take care of myself and a child. I’ve decided to give myself up for adoption.
”

“Don’t bother calling the cops, because nobody can find me here. I know, because after all these years, I’m still trying to find myself.”