“I used to have straw-colored hair. Horses loved it.”

“Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.”

“If you put a long-haired wig on and ask nicely, I might sit on your back and ride you like a horse. I believe that’s the only appropriate way to show you how much I love you.”

“She had two blueberries for eyes, and hair the color of strawberries. Too bad our love never made it past the kitchen and into the bedroom (or garage).”

“I’d love to be a color commentator, but I can’t, because I’m white, and white isn’t a color.”

“I love the way the color lavender smells, and the way the color salmon tastes. And if there were a color called “fur,” I’d like the way it feels.”

“I like using scented markers. Especially when I’m trying to color the inside of my nostrils.”