“I want a one-bedroom house with cup holders. I want to live in my car, and make the road my home.”

“I like cup holders—in cars, as well as in jockstraps.”

“I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my car, my car would be my home.”

“I want to make a splash in the world, and I want to make one with my dry wit. My dry wit is wetter than you’d imagine.”

“I came from a broken home. My bedroom window was cracked.”

“I want a house with a garage, so someone from the government won’t try to park a tank in my living room.”

“What I want more than a car that goes from Point A to Point B, is a car that stops. I make it a point to break for love. My horn is broke—and so am I, but I get paid Friday.”